“OVERCOMING Traumatic Stress”…Fibromyalgia and PTSD – Book Share II

So for some time now I’ve noticed a fair amount of individuals with fibromyalgia indicate that they also have Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

And I’ve noticed a fair amount of other individuals with fibromyalgia talking about traumatic life experiences they’ve had that lead me to wonder if they too have PTSD.

I always silently empathize with all of them…I believe I’ve had some experience with it myself.

And I wanted to share a resource I’ve found that, honestly, has given me a totally RENEWED PERSPECTIVE, some INCREDIBLE INSIGHT and DEPTH to my understanding of traumatic stress and some NEW TOOLS I am excited to be trying. And above all, the message that came through loud and clear to me as I read this book is…

I’m not alone.

What I’m experiencing is normal for the circumstances that happened to me.

It’s not my fault.

But there IS something I can do about it.

So let me explain.

The book is “OVERCOMING Traumatic Stress   2^nd Edition   A self-help guide using cognitive behavioral techniques” by Claudia Herbert.

And because I initially read the first edition a few years back and still find it to be an excellent option for those who would like a bit less extensive (and less reading), but still comprehensive guide on overcoming traumatic stress, I’m including a link to it as well…“OVERCOMING TRAUMATIC STRESS   A self-help guide using Cognitive Behavioral Techniques” by Claudia Herbert and Ann Wetmore.

Although it’s a self-help guide, I never felt on my own while reading it. It has a calm and reassuring, concerned and kind, almost conversational way about it as it clearly describes the range of reactions, thoughts and feelings that someone in the grip of trauma (and those close to them) may be experiencing.

The book’s aim is to help those in the grip of trauma MAKE SENSE of their situation by UNDERSTANDING WHY their reactions are happening under their circumstances (through NO FAULT of their own!). Then it gently guides them to find the confidence and courage WITHIN THEMSELVES to start or continue their journey to MANAGE their traumatic stress, to RECONNECT to their strength again and finally, to TAKE CONTROL of their recovery process.

I would like to highlight a CAUTION from the author right up front here. She states that if you have suffered long-standing, repeated or complex trauma, especially if this occurred early in your life, such as childhood abuse or enduring domestic violence, and cannot remember a time in your life when it ever felt safe, you will need more specialist help and this book is likely to be of limited use although some parts of it could still be helpful. The Foreword in the book goes a little further, stating that if you are suffering from early-life abuse, complex post-traumatic disorder, this book may make you feel more alone if you do not find you are benefiting from what you read here.

I did find that the author gave thoughtful guidance throughout the book on what to do if you feel triggered at any time as you go through the book. And on that note, I sincerely hope that I have not written anything in this book share post that will be triggering for anyone.

So although some techniques in the book may make a considerable amount of difference right away, the author stresses that it’s not a “quick fix”…the book aims for SOLID, LASTING IMPROVEMENT. It aims to help us to change our emotional reactions by examining the underlying causes, the thoughts and beliefs related to them, and by trying out NEW WAYS OF LOOKING AT THINGS.

It helps one to DEVELOP STRATEGIES to tackle it at their OWN PACE without feeling “wiped out” and experience setbacks to their recovery.

And personally, I’m a huge fan of self-help anything…I love it that I can get going right away, I don’t have to wait for or depend on anyone else…I feel a sense of power in self-sufficiency. And this book does not disappoint in helping with that self-sufficiency…throughout, it gives practical ways and exercises that we can start on immediately, to overcome the effects of traumatic stresses that infiltrate so very many areas of our lives.

Although the author is quick to stress that the book is not intended as a replacement for therapy (in fact, at times, in specific circumstances, she specifically encourages and guides readers on how and when to seek out specialist help), she says that even though there are effective treatments developed, apparently there are many gaps in the system and not everyone has access, nor can afford them or simply feel comfortable coming forward for help…hence the self-help guide.

So maybe this self-help manual is a supplement to therapy, maybe it’s a stop gap, maybe it helps someone who has been affected by trauma to figure out whether they might benefit from professional help…maybe it proves sufficient for someone to overcome their traumatic stress or other stress-related problems without professional help.

Maybe it’s a lifeline to recovery and a better future.

I personally recently recommended the book to someone I know who had been through a therapy program and felt that they were at the point of owning their recovery more themselves. As they completed their therapy program, they welcomed this additional resource and the wisdom, support and additional exercises demonstrated in this book to help guide them to continue to heal and regain their functional life.

Speaking of regaining our functional life, this brings me back to thoughts of fibromyalgia and back to my initial observation about fibromyalgia and PTSD…obviously, as I’m not an expert in either, this is simply my own anecdotal observation…that I’ve noticed a fair amount of individuals with fibromyalgia also have issues with traumatic stress.

I’m definitely not saying I think PTSD causes fibromyalgia‎; that’s not for me to say. (Although after gaining so much more insight about the effects of traumatic stress from these books, I have to say I do see a lot of parallels.) And I myself, although I believe I have experience with PTSD, can think of at least a few other potential causes for my fibromyalgia.

And having a bit of marketing research in my background, I know all too well anecdotal evidence is not a statistical correlation and even correlations are simply that, not evidence of a causal relationship…correlation does not imply causation. So even if there was a correlation or connection found between fibromyalgia and PTSD, that doesn’t necessarily mean PTSD causes fibromyalgia.

For example, what if PTSD causes chronic disrupted sleep in someone and their disrupted sleep over an extended period causes an eventual breakdown in their system or brain which in turn causes fibromyalgia? But…many other things could also cause chronic disrupted sleep and (in this example scenario) hence lead to fibromyalgia. In fact, I had experienced years of chronic disrupted sleep when I got fibromyalgia, and it had absolutely nothing to do with PTSD. See what I mean? Obviously, it’s much more complicated and so many more variables (and potential causes) to consider, far more than my simple example, but you get my point.

In my mind, at this point (and this is purely a personal feeling), if there is some sort of causal relationship, I’m not sure it matters to me…what is significant to me NOW is that Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, by its very name, is a STRESS…and as I’ve talked at length about in a previous post, stress, ANY stress, is a leading (arguably “the” leading, along with poor sleep) trigger for most if not all of my symptoms.

If there’s something that’s causing me stress, I have to deal with it. Period.

In my own case, I’ve not ever been officially diagnosed with PTSD by a professional; I’ve never spoken to one. And I won’t pretend I have severe PTSD or that I know what others who have intrusive memories and flashbacks and insomnia experience…I don’t.

However, I did realize I likely had some degree of PTSD about twenty-five years ago and I believe it started with an accident close to fifteen years before that. Although I had shrugged it off and said I was fine when it happened, before too long I knew the accident had affected me (forty years later, it still remains the single most impactful thing to happen to me in my entire life, for so many reasons, good and bad). For some years initially, it affected me for the worse but then I was able to reframe it for myself and use it as an agent of change for the better for many more years.

But when I chance happened upon an article about PTSD about fifteen years after the accident, I immediately recognized myself in it. It explained some things…it explained a lot. With this new knowledge I was able to reframe the way I thought about it once more and reclaim some sense of control that (I then realized) it had taken from me…this helped so much that I thought maybe I had largely put it behind me…maybe.

Fast forward many years to maybe about five years ago (my fibromyalgia life now); I was on my way home from a brief holiday and I suddenly realized I’d had absolutely no fibromyalgia symptoms the four days I’d been away! I was earnestly wondering why that was. At that time I didn’t have as full of an understanding as I now have of what triggers my symptoms…initially I pondered some superficial sort of things…changes in foods I’d eaten, changes in the weather, changes in activities….etc. etc.

But as we got on the road to drive those seven hours home, I also noticed that I felt completely and wonderfully relieved…free…I felt totally stress free. And then I realized THAT was more likely the reason my symptoms had subsided. And I had this wistful hope that I wish I could keep that wonderful free feeling going back to my everyday life…but I didn’t know if I could…because in that moment I realized that in my everyday life, I lived with a thin layer of stress just under the surface ALL THE TIME, in that it had become my normal, so much so that I hadn’t even realized it was there!

What WAS that CONSTANT, IMPERCEPTIBLE, THIN LAYER OF STRESS that had become such a part of me that I wasn’t even aware of it!?

My thoughts went to PTSD…‎could it be still be more of a thing with me than I had realized? All these years later? Or maybe my two chronic illnesses (endometriosis and fibromyalgia), and this may be more likely, somewhere over the years, had picked up the (stress) mantle.

I wasn’t really sure but I realized then that if I was going to continue to progress and‎ continue to improve my fibromyalgia and move my recovery to the next level, I needed to address this stress. I had done so much already, and I sensed that this may be a key thing that I needed to do that I hadn’t addressed yet.

And I knew immediately where I would start.

I had previously found one of the books in the OVERCOMING series to be a game-changer for me, and I remembered I had seen a PTSD one on their list…it was a no brainer for me to read it…I would read it and see if I thought I had any unfinished work to do on my PTSD and if so, hopefully find something helpful to move me past this hurdle for my fibromyalgia.

That was the first edition I read at that time and I gained a lot of helpful insight which was truly enlightening for me but unfortunately (for me) I put the book aside and did not fully take advantage of everything it offered at the time. So recently, more determined than ever to keep moving forward on my fibromyalgia journey, I decided to revisit it and I was delighted to find this second more extensive edition.

Upon starting to read it, I could tell immediately that it was going to be easy to read, super interesting and extremely relatable ( in my mind, a self-help book is not much help if it is too boring or too complicated or both to even read!). And as I read through it, I found myself relieved to find that how I had felt…past and present…explained here in black and white, crystal clear…was for good reason.

What I had been experiencing, feeling…was “normal” for what I’d been through (and here was some help!).

Within the first couple pages, I was immediately struck with the relatability of the book as it delved right into a personal account by a survivor of trauma of her firsthand experience. These personal accounts were sprinkled throughout the book revealing so many aspects of traumatic stress in a way only another with traumatic stress could fully identify with…their inner feelings, intrusive recollections, sleep disturbances, avoidance behaviour, emotional numbing reactions, depression, decreased self-esteem, issues with interpersonal relationships, closeness and intimacy, sense of trust and safety, internal deadness…and finally, one personal account that I felt covered it all, ”A REAL BLACK CLOUD COMPLETELY GRIPS HOLD OF ME.”

And although I have not experienced these myself, I was fascinated by the way the book laid out techniques to learn to control (rather than letting them control you) what the author assured us are very common, flashbacks and intrusive memories and panic attacks…”your bodies way of trying to make sense of your experiences”…”the more you allow yourself to get to know them and understand them, the more you will be able to master them and feel in control.”

I was more than thrilled to see the book address improving our sleep…crucial for fibromyalgia! (I never realized that, with techniques and especially practice, we can assert some control over our dreams!)

And the fact that poor concentration, difficulties focusing and memory problems are linked to the system overload that many people experience after trauma, with many strategies in the book likely to help on this front (YES!…another fibro fog fighting tool!)…well, that was eye opening too!

And while the book explains our reactions to traumatic stress, it goes a step further and tells you what to ask yourself to help figure them out! It aims to help us to develop strategies so that we can deal with our reactions without feeling “wiped out” and experiencing setbacks to recovery…it includes numerous anger management techniques, panic attack strategies, ways to managing emotional numbness, as well as mindfulness exercises (in the second edition).

The book goes on to discuss substance dependencies, dealing with guilt, self-blame, self-respect, grief, loss, emotional pain…and yes, HELP TO LIVE WITH CHRONIC PAIN(!)…controlling and managing it to not allow it to take over your life!

I was grateful that the book devoted some time to address family and friends to aid them to understand and help their loved ones in the grip of traumatic stress, while also giving advice to help find the right type of therapy, should that be the route one wishes to go, advising that the suggestions and exercises in this book could still be used with the therapist.

So yes, I’ve recognized a lot of myself as I’ve read through the book…much past…some present. There was so much I could identify with from my past…and explained here in the book.

There was a time many years ago when I had wondered why I didn’t seem to see the future…the future was like a vacant black hole for me…I found an explanation here.

And I knew, a long time ago, that my traumatic incident had changed me…undoubtedly and markedly initially…it changed the way I think, it undermined my sense of security and control. For a time, it was like my traumatic event happened, and in the back of my mind, almost but not quite unnoticeable to me, I was waiting for the other shoe to drop…for years. I found it validating and even a bit cathartic to see it here, in black and white.

And I felt victorious…to see what I had survived…and overcome.

It had been the first time in my life when they couldn’t totally “put Humpty Dumpty together again”…at least not in the exact same way I had been before…at a young age, this was very “real” for me…it tore away my “invincibility cloak”.

And all those years ago, the thing that still stands out to me as the most disappointing about my traumatic incident was the “blame the victim” mentality I received from some afterward. It was my first exposure to this mentality and at a young age, it had an indelible impact on me…it was not at all what I had expected of my fellow humans…not even close. Although I came to terms with that long ago, I was thrilled to see this particular aspect of traumatic stress recognized and discussed in the book. It’s something that NEEDS to be recognized and discussed…everywhere!

And personally, I always find recognizing and having these revelations about my thought patterns is life changing for me all on its own.

I was amazed to have these revelations as I read…I found it so enlightening to see my reactions and exact thought patterns and behaviour over the years explained…and interesting(!)…and a bit of a relief.

I had not even been aware of the underlying thought processes that had just become such a part of me that they were sustaining the condition.

Yes, becoming aware is always at least half the battle for me…then I can begin fitting the pieces of the puzzle together…start unlocking and revealing the answers. And as the book explains, understanding our reactions to trauma helps to make them less frightening while also helping us to realize we are not alone with our trauma experience. When you consider the vast amount of life experiences that could happen to anyone and could lead to traumatic stress…no, we certainly are not alone!!

And one thing I particularly appreciated about the book is that it VALIDATED the traumatization for me. There had been so many elements to my traumatization, spread out over time…some I clearly knew, others I had known were things I had felt for some time, but I never actually distinguished them as traumatizing effects…it was amazing to discover.

So in reading the book, while it affirmed for me that I had indeed have overcome much of my traumatic stress, it also made me realize I still had a few remnants of my behavior hanging around that could be attributed to my traumatic stress that I had never realized before. Like…when I read that we may feel a sense of danger everywhere, so therefore we are “checking what others have done to make sure they have done it properly”…um, yeah, I’m sure my family can attest that I may be inclined to do that at times in situations that involve safety (insert eye roll from my family here).

And that whisper thin layer of stress that seems to be just under the surface ALL THE TIME…that underlying “edge” that I had noticed on the trip home that had become such an ingrained part of me that I wasn’t even aware of it? Early on in the book I found that…”This FEELING OF BEING ON “RED” ALERT – assessing potential danger all the time – can be extremely draining as your senses have to work overtime to achieve this high level of security.”…bang…nailed it…that’s sure sounds like it could be the underlying ever-present strain that I finally became aware of.

A few other explanations have occurred to me as I read further into the book, one even being the constant strain of having to get up day after day for over a decade and a half and push through life with fibromyalgia to raise my kids, never fully confident in my ability to physically cope with whatever more might be piled on my chronic fatigued life.

Which brings me to another point the author makes, that without a professional diagnosis, we can’t be sure we have PTSD, that there are a number of other similar trauma or stressor-related disorders, such as Adjustment Disorder which lists a continuous persistent painful illness as a potential cause…hmm, sounds familiar.

Regardless of which it is, at this point for myself, I was happy to realize that this next surprising revelation and exciting technique I found in the book would help just the same!

So for awhile now, I’ll be going about my life and I’ll suddenly notice my breathing…or lack thereof. I’ve noticed what seems to be my regular way of breathing lately…shallow…until I catch myself doing it and then need to take a deep breathe to try to correct it…and when I take a nice deep breathe to correct it I notice an immediate difference in my entire persona…an immediate calming grounded feeling…so I’ve been trying to notice and correct my breathing because, well, it feels so serene and peaceful when I do.

So I was both surprised and thrilled to find this shallow breathing addressed in the book. Apparently shallow breathing is what we do when we are anxious or stressed…go figure! (I HAVE found myself dealing with some overly stressful work for some time now.)

And I was even more delighted to find tools to deal with it! I learned that even when I was correcting my breathing, I was doing it wrong. I am excited to now know how to breathe deeper from the technique described in the book AND very excited to be taking it one step further with additional breathing techniques described in the book that help one get grounded, lessen tension (stress!) and promote deeper sleep (YES!…key for my fibromyalgia) or generally, to help one relax and regain control when they have been over reacting.

Although it is going to take a little practice for this way of breathing to become a habit, I notice a far more pronounced positive difference when I make a conscious effort to breathe properly since I have the right tools now. This has been a nice bonus from the book… a way to combat stress and feel super calm in the face of every day stresses that would usually flare up symptoms…and I wasn’t even aware of the extent that I needed it!

So yes, I feel compelled to pass on “OVERCOMING Traumatic Stress  2^nd Edition  A self-help guide using cognitive behavioral techniques” (both editions) to others with fibromyalgia who feel they have been affected by trauma and are looking for help to move along in their journey of healing and hopefully, finally, overcoming traumatic stress.

It has definitely been eye opening and “life-changing” for me.

I never know when I’ll find a real catalyst for change for anything in life but what I know is real is that the only surefire way of not finding one is to not look.

So I’m thrilled that I looked up “OVERCOMING Traumatic Stress…”…the amazing insight and incredible depth I’ve gained about the after-effects of the most impactful incident to ever happen in my life has been enlightening…and cathartic.  And the new information (in the second edition) about my fibromyalgia itself possibly causing a similar stressor-related disorder, an Adjustment Disorder, definitely adds some new perspective to help with my continuous quest to keep improving my (fibromyalgia) life.

And I am now armed with some new breathing techniques! I’m going to start with these, the book says take it slow. I’ll see where I get with these and then maybe revisit some of the other techniques in the book.

Often I find one change can have a bonus effect of leading to other unexpected changes and benefits. So I’m optimistic and looking forward to new positive change!

Because…I’m not alone.

What I’m experiencing is normal for the circumstances that happened to me.

It’s not my fault.

But there IS something I can do about it.

 

 

“It is important to believe that things can get better…it is possible to contain your reactions and claim back much of your functional life…learning to see beyond the trauma or around it.” – Claudia Herbert